An old joke, with more than one variation.
In Heaven
- the mechanics are German
- the chefs are French
- the police are British
- the lovers are Italian
- and everything is organized by the Swiss.
In Hell
- the mechanics are French
- the police are German
- the chefs are British
- the lovers are Swiss
- and everything is organized by the Italians.
But really… what do Europeans think of each other? Here’s a basic backgrounder for Americans. Even considering the audience, it’s kind of fun.
Here’s how Germans are perceived:
Germans are considered industrious but uptight and humorless, by just about all the other Europeans. They know WW2 is a sore spot for them, so other Europeans will often mercilessly tease them about it. As much as Germany is considered an economic powerhouse, the vast majority of Europeans don’t really want to learn German or study there (or send their kids there to study). The food is considered uninspired, too, and only Berlin has some cachet among younger Europeans for its vibrant underground club scene.
Speaking of Germans (of which I am standard stock), my own joke. A German, a Turk, and a Lithuanian (of which I also have some blood) stumble upon a magic lantern, and being reasonably in the know, agree to share the three wishes that are sure to come of it, one each.
The genie apppears, and the wishes are presented.
The Lithuanian says “I wish for a brand new BMW for all of my countrymen. Leather seats, big engine, and air conditioning. Nothing like that efficient German engineering for us all!”
Poof! The Lithuanian is magically transported to Vilnius, with 530s, 335s, and letters “i” enough for everyone.
Turk’s turn. “I wish for a beautiful villa for every one of my countrymen, one that overlooks the Bosporus, with big window, and room enough for all to come home to.
Poof! It is done, and all the Turks have their own little villas back in the home country.
Now, it’s the German’s turn, and after a long pause, the Genie prompts him. “Can you think of nothing?” he asks?
The German replies: “Let’s see. All of the Lithuanians have cars, so mine is safe now. The Turks have all gone home. What say you get me a cup of coffee, and we’ll call it even?”